In earlier generations, this question was very seldom raised, simply because divorce was almost never encountered among Christians and was unusual even in the general population. Today, however, it has become a very real problem in evangelical Christian circles. Infidelity is no longer rare, even among Christian leaders, and one can hear almost weekly of some new pastoral “affair” and its traumatic effect on his church. With such examples in the leadership, it is bound to be even more common among the ordinary members, and the resulting decline in the stability of the Christian home today is surely one of the more alarming signs of the times.
In the past, attempts to deal with this question on a Biblical basis have tended to be somewhat academic, probably because the very idea of divorce was so alien to the expositor's own experiences. Nowadays, however, since the tragedy of divorce has spread so widely that almost every Christian has encountered it not only in his church but also among his close friends and relatives, it is vitally important that we seek to deal with it both Biblically and sympathetically.
First of all, the divine standard for marriage is lifelong commitment to one's spouse, and nothing else. Even though divorce was permitted in some cases under the Old Testament economy, Christ made it plain that this was not God's ideal. When He was asked this very question, "He answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:4-6).
This seems very comprehensive and conclusive, yet He immediately followed up this statement with the following apparent exception: "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matthew 19:9; see also Matthew 5:31, 32).
It does seem from this statement that the discovery of extramarital unchastity on the part of one' spouse is here given as a possible grounds for divorce. God does place a high value on faithfulness, on the part of both bride and bridegroom, as a basis for a happy and lasting marriage. Fornication is condemned as a sin in both Old and New Testaments.
In this day of widespread sexual license, however, this provision might well become a rather common ground for divorce, even among Christians. It does, indeed, dilute the principle of “one flesh” used by God to describe a true marriage. "What? Know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? For two, saith He, shall be one flesh… Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body: but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" (I Corinthians 6:16, 18). This passage, incidentally, suggests that a woman who submits to extramarital sex becomes, in God's sight, a harlot, whether she yields her body for money or some other reason that she sees as profitable to herself.
On the other hand, it is noteworthy that Jesus, evidently on a different occasion, did not give fornication as an excuse for divorce. "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery" (Luke 16:18). If there is any doubt, this also applies to wives. "And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery" (Mark 10:12).
Since the lord would not contradict Himself, we should conclude that, while there may be some situations in which extramarital sex would create such problems in a marriage that divorce would be better than continuing in an unhealthy or even dangerous relationship, in general it would be better to forgive earlier indiscretions (if accompanied by repentance and present faithfulness) rather than to break up what might otherwise still be a good marriage.
In both cases, however, Christ warned that remarriage after divorce amounts to adultery, a sin which is explicitly forbidden by God's seventh Commandment. Both divorce and remarriage, therefore, are extremely serious steps, and both violate the divine principle of permanent union and faithfulness in marriage.
But this is not the whole story. "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy… For He knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust" (Psalm 103:8, 14). "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins" (I John 1:9). This promise is specifically for Christians, and includes even the sin of adultery, if there is genuine repentance. The Lord made this very clear in His dealing with the woman who "was taken in adultery, in the very act" (John 8:4). He reminded her accusers that they also were sinners and had no warrant to punish her. Then He told the woman: "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more" (John 8:11).
He in no way condoned her sin, but He did forgive her sin, when she gave evidence of godly sorrow and determination not to sin again in this way. Under such conditions, His followers would do well to follow His example. At least in this particular context, He put no further conditions on her freedom, either to return to her husband if he would have her, or to marry another if she were already divorced.
There is one other important Biblical factor to consider in divorce-and-remarriage situations. A Christian should never marry a non-Christian, as this almost inevitably leads to serious friction in the home later on unless the unsaved partner can, by God's grace, be won to Christ. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers" (II Corinthians 6:14).
Nevertheless, many Christians insist on doing this very thing. And then what? Also, a person may become a believer after marriage, with the partner still unsaved. In either case, there is an unequal yoke, and the Christian husband or wife may come to desire release from this yoke. The Apostle Paul commands in this case: "…If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him." (I Corinthians 7:12, 13). The next verse indicates this is especially important for the sake of the children, who are often the ones hurt most by a divorce.
But suppose the unsaved spouse is the one who insists on a divorce. "If the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace" (I Corinthians 7:15).
This obviously means that the Christian husband or wife is then at liberty to remarry. In fact, if there are children involved, and if a caring Christian spouse can be found, it would be good to remarry, for children need the love and guidance of both a father and mother, provided, of course, that the stepmother or stepfather is “in the Lord” (I Corinthians 7:39) and desires to assume such a responsibility.
By extension, these principles could be applied to other situations that the Scriptures do not cover explicitly. As noted above, God is able and willing to forgive all sins, including even the sin of getting a divorce for trivial reasons. He has called us to peace, not legal bondage, and He can make a good marriage and a happy home no matter what the previous history of the people involved may have been, provided that true repentance, proper restitution, and genuine saving faith and sincere desire to serve the Lord now exist in their lives.
These are all second-best choices, however. For young people who have not yet gotten involved in such mistakes, it is far better—for now and forever—to seek God's best, the ideal marriage He planned from the beginning. Such a marriage is a foretaste of heaven, for it is a picture of the heavenly bridegroom and His chaste Bride (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Link to Note card for Christians with a heart for the Incarcerated
There are cards here geared specificaly to those incarcerated in our countries Jails and prisons. Please have a heart for these most forgoten in our world and write and inmate.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Teaching Women to Live in these Last days
Teaching Christian Women to Live in These Last Days
Living as a Christian has never been particularly easy. Living in these End Times though, can be even harder. Teaching Christian women how to live in these End Times is therefore an important task. There are so many distractions today -- distractions which our parents and grandparents never experienced. These distractions can pull a woman away from following Christ and from living the Christian life. There are also many sins and temptations in these End Times. The world and the flesh are still around. The Devil isn't going away. How shall we then live?
Upon What Should All Teaching of Women to Live in These End Times be Based?
Teaching Christian Women to live in End Times must be based on the Bible. Why? The reason for this is that only the Bible was actually inspired by God:
"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:" (2 Timothy 3:16)
We can see from this verse that the Bible is "profitable" for "instruction". There are certainly other sources that could be used for instruction other than the Bible. Nevertheless, there is no better source than the Bible, because the Bible came from God Himself. Also, if you want to use any other source, such a source must always be compared with the Bible, to make sure that it is in agreement with what the Bible says. Otherwise, you might end up teaching things contrary to God's Word, which would be a sin.
Who is Qualified to Teach Women to Live in These End Times?
First and foremost, any teacher who wishes to teach Christians should be converted through trusting Jesus for Salvation. There is really no excuse for a teacher of Christians to not actually be a Christian. The Bible says:
"But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned." (1 Corinthians 2:14)
This means that you are spiritually blind if you have not yet been converted by trusting Jesus to forgive your sins. If you are spiritually "blind", then you are not qualified to teach Christians about anything of a spiritual nature. Jesus said:
"And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch." (Matthew 15:14)
If you are lost, then please get saved before trying to teach women to live in these End Times.
As for who is or is not qualified, almost anyone who is a Christian is qualified, so long as his or her teaching is based upon God's ideas from the Bible, and not on the ideas of man. There is no special requirement from the Bible that one must be a pastor or an elder in order to teach Christian women. Nevertheless, the Bible does warn us against teaching people anything that is contrary to the Word of God. God takes such a sin against His Word very seriously. Therefore, do not attempt to teach anything that is in conflict with the Bible:
"But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction." (2 Peter 2:1)
What is the Purpose of Teaching Women to Live in End Times?
The main purpose of any such teaching should never be the entertainment of the audience. The world sure loves its entertainment. The world as a whole is also quickly traveling down the road leading to Hell. As Christians, we should be different from this lost and Christ-rejecting world. The manner and method which we use to teach other Christians should be a basic part of this difference between Christians and the world. Of course, this does not mean that we should never teach in an entertaining manner. The fact is, any teaching that is at least somewhat entertaining is generally more likely to be listened to -- and then applied. After all, no one really wants to sit and listen to a "boring lecture", if that can be avoided. And it can be avoided.
Nevertheless, teaching Christian women should always have at least one definite purpose or objective to it, apart from any entertainment value of the teaching. However, the Bible strictly warns us that many so-called Christians in the End Times will have "itching" ears. (In other words, they will long for entertainment-based teaching) -- while at the same time rejecting any meaningful spiritual substance of such a teaching. In fact, this urge for unscriptural entertainment apart from personal application is one of the main problems with Rick Warren's "Saddleback Church" type philosophy of so-called "Christian" teaching. Nevertheless, the Bible warns us specifically that such apostasy away from Bible-based Christian teaching would happen during these current End Times:
"For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables." (2 Timothy 4:3-4)
Teaching should attempt to build up Christian women in one or more ways - not just to entertain them or to "tickle" their "itching ears". Also, because such teaching is spiritual work, prayer must always proceed it. You should ask God for wisdom concerning what to teach such women and also pray to God for His blessing upon it as well. God promised us that He would give us wisdom in answer to our prayers to Him for such wisdom:
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." (James 1:5)
What Should be Taught when Teaching Women to Live in End Times
(1) Christian women should be taught that they must be Christians
Women should be taught that they need to actually be Christians, and not just be "religious but lost". I believe that great harm has come to many churches by women trying to work for Christ without the Spirit of Christ indwelling them. Many "church splits" have also been caused by such lost women as well.
Another related problem is that many lost women in the church end up marrying a non-Christian man -- (even a preacher!) -- and then become a huge source of spiritual trouble in the lives of those men. The Bible specifically warns us against creating such an "unequal yoke" between a Christian and non-Christian:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3)
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Therefore, women should be taught that they need to be SAVED if they are to do any REAL Christian work. Working in the flesh is not spiritually profitable. It is neither spiritually profitable to God nor to men:
"Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God." (Romans 8:7-8)
(2) A Christian woman should be taught that, if she marries, she should only marry a Christian man
I have already mentioned the problem of creating an "unequal yoke" joining together a Christian with a non-Christian. Nevertheless, if a woman becomes a Christian after she gets married to a non-Christian man, then such an "unequal yoke" is quite unavoidable. Still, a Christian woman should never willingly or deliberately marry a non-Christian. To do this is to commit a potentially life-wrecking sin against God. Nevertheless, some Christian women go ahead and do this anyway, giving themselves the excuse that "their man" will some day become a Christian through their efforts. This thinking is very dangerous, and can and does lead such women into troubled marriages with lost men. Such women may pray to God that their lost husbands will become Christians, but there is no guarantee of this ever happening:
"For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband?" (1 Corinthians 7:16)
Because of the danger of creating such an "unequal yoke", Christian women should avoid even going out on a date with lost men. They should not allow themselves to consider even one date with a lost man -- ever. Emotions could cause a confusion in the minds of such women, blinding them to the spiritual state of these lost men, (especially if they are "really nice guys" who wear nice suits to Church on Sunday). The Bible says that the Devil sows many "tares" among the "wheat", (see Matthew 13:38-39). Such lost "tare" men could ruin the witness of such Christian women, causing them great sorrow later in life. Therefore, women should be taught that a lost man is still a lost man, no matter how "nice" he seems to be. A pig is still a pig, no matter how much you clean one up. Therefore, a lost man is still a "pig in a suit", even if he looks so "holy" at Church. He is still lost if he has never actually trusted Jesus alone for his salvation.
(3) Christian women should be taught that they should live with the same commitment to Christ as unmarried women
Now I will admit that this is a very controversial statement. Nevertheless, this is exactly what the Bible actually teaches women to do. Married women naturally have their affections drawn towards their families, and therefore away from Christ and away from His work. This tendency toward family and away from Christ must be resisted by married Christian women if they are to faithfully live a life of service to Christ:
"But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." (1 Corinthians 7:28-34)
(4) Christian women should be taught to "bridle their tongues"
There is no question that God made women different from men. Women like relationships. Men generally like action. Women are more apt to seek emotional pursuits and men intellectual pursuits. Even the toys that girls and boys prefer point to this basic difference: Girls generally prefer dolls. Boys on the other hand prefer more "action"-type toys, like toy guns or trucks.
Another noticeable difference between men and women is that women generally like to talk more than men. I recently heard a story about a study done on babies that were still in their mothers' wombs. This study found that such girl babies opened and closed their mouths about twice as many times as baby boys still in the womb. Although individual women and men may be different, that women like to talk more than men is pretty much true across the board.
Although talking itself is not a sin, women talking "too much" can cause a big problem. This problem here is that many women are drawn to listen to and give out "gossip". The Bible calls this problem an unbridled tongue, and God considers this to be a major problem for women in the Church:
"Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell." (James 3:3-6)
Please notice that the Bible says that an uncontrolled tongue is "set on fire of hell". Satan often uses a woman's uncontrolled tongue to bring sin into a home as well as into a church. I believe that this is one of the main reasons that the Bible commands women to keep silent in the church and forbids them to speak:
"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: f or it is a shame for women to speak in the church." (1 Corinthians 14:34-35)
(5) Christian women should be taught to serve God at home and in the church.
Many women are too idle. Such women often use up some of this idle time watching "soap operas", "Oprah", or other worldly and sinful television programs. From these programs these women absorb the world's standards and ideas into their minds and bring these false ideas into their homes. Instead, women should be taught to live godly lives, different from the world. They should be taught to avoid watching television.
Women should also be taught to be subject to their husbands at home. The problem of women not being subject to their husbands is often directly related to television-watching by such women. This is because one of the primary themes constantly regurgitated through television is: rebellious women thinking and acting independently from their husbands. This idea that a woman need not listen to her husband was what caused Eve to listen to Satan in the Garden of Eden; instead of asking her husband what to do about the fruit. She fell into sin as a direct result of her independent attitude.
This sinful theme of rebellion by women against their husbands was always a central part of such television programs as "I Love Lucy" and "The Honeymooners". It is even more pronounced in today's television programs, which are often produced by homosexuals or other sexual perverts. Women should be taught to turn off Satan's "idiot box" and keep the Devil and his demons out of the home -- and out of the church as well. Godliness should be a woman's goal, not worldliness:
"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety." (1 Timothy 2:9-15)
"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." (Titus 2:3-5)
(6) Christian women should be taught to pray
Jesus often talked about prayer. Jesus spoke a parable about a widow who needed to obtain justice from an unjust judge. Jesus said that this widow obtained what she wanted from this judge because she was persistent. Jesus used this parable of a persistent widow to point out that a woman should have the faith to persistently pray to God for her needs. Jesus then asked a direct question concerning prayer and these current End Times. Jesus said:
"And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; ... And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?" (Luke 18:1,7-8)
Did Jesus imply that the current End Times would be filled with women of great faith in prayer? Alternately, would this current "Laodicean Age" be characterized by very little faith in prayer? The implication from this parable was rather strong, that these current End Times would be both faithless and prayer-less. Women should therefore be taught to pray, and also be taught to have faith in God that He will answer their prayers.
The flesh is against prayer. Prayer is also spiritual warfare and Satan often attacks those who obey God and pray faithfully. Nevertheless, God will also defend such women from such attacks by Satan. Therefore, teach women to pray. A world of good will come if they take this teaching to heart.
(7) Teach Christian women to wear modest women's clothing and not men's clothing
The world is very adamant in its insistence that women wear men's clothing. By this, of course, I mean: women wearing pants. Some women are quite unashamed to wear such men's clothing, even sometimes wearing pants in church! God, however, is also adamant in His insistence that women always wear women's clothing and never men's:
"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God." (Deuteronomy 22:5)
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." (1 Peter 1:6)
This plain old-fashioned teaching from the Word of God is of course very controversial in this Christ and Bible-rejecting age. The Bible said that these End Times would be characterized by women unwilling to "endure" such "sound doctrine". (See 2 Timothy 4:3-4) Such Bible truth is not very popular today with many rebellious Christian women who often want "softer teaching". Nevertheless, Jesus said:
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free....If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." (John 8:32,36)
Conclusion
Teaching Christian women to live in these End Times is not an easy task. The world and its wicked television is constantly tempting women to do that which is evil and disobey God and His Word, The Bible. Those women who choose to reject Satan, and instead obey God, will choose the truth of Jesus and the Bible instead of such as the worldly lies spewed out on "Oprah" and other wicked programs. Nevertheless, godly teachers of Christian women will probably not get very many speaking engagements, in comparison to those who choose to obey Satan and teach what is contrary to the Word of God. Still, the Bible does say:
"And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." (I John 2:17)
To put it another way, as C. T. Studd was credited with having once said, "Only one life, 'twill soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last." Women should be reminded that life on Earth is short, and that Eternity lasts forever. The attention of all Christian women should therefore be on heavenly things and not on things of this life - not on a life which will soon pass away.
Submission bible Study
WHAT IS WIFELY SUBMISSION?
BY
JULIA M. FAULKNER
????? ??, 1996
� 1996
Sonshine Publications
Julia M. Faulkner
WHAT IS WIFELY SUBMISSION?
by
Julia M. Faulkner
Part One
This is a very hard study for me to write. There is so much running through my mind right now that I want to share with you! I hope that I can take all that is there and get it on paper in an orderly way. *God help me do this* keeps resounding in my heart and my mind.
In all honesty, I never thought I'd be one writing a ladies bible study on submission. It has only been in the last few years that I gave in to God's leading and submitted myself to my husband as is God's will for all married women. Oh! but what joy and peace and happiness I have felt! Submission God's way is so rewarding. Maybe that's what I want to talk about here. The who, what, when, where, and how of wives submitting to their husbands.
Jesus told us that a house divided against itself will fall. How true that is! Many homes are now broken homes because there was one too many people trying to be the leader in the home. The wife is that person. Often I wonder why wives would tear apart their homes. I would believe it to be many things.
First and foremost, there has not been an example for the wife to follow and there has been no training. Titus 2:3 - 5 "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Where are the older women who are supposed to be teaching us younger women? It would seem that they are either on the job or are retired and traveling with grandpa. Or maybe they figure they've already raised their children, got them out on their own, and now their job is over. Hmmm. Well, the only thing I can say about this is "NOT!" I mean no disrespect to my elders, but we need our older women to teach us younger one's how to be a loving wives and mothers; how to be a keepers at home; how to be obedient to our husbands! Oh to have someone teach me! I believe our young mothers, and even those not so young but still have young children, or maybe are still newly weds, need someone to guide them along. Ladies, our responsibility to our daughters and our young women does not end when they marry and have children of their own! God help these young women who so need the wisdom and experience of the older women of whom God's speaks in His word. For who else is there to lean on?
Next I believe that the women's lib has destroyed and warped the true meaning of biblical, scriptural submission for wives. They have us thinking it's a terrible, awful thing to be obedient to our husbands. Since when did we stop listening to God and start listening to the world? God's way is always the perfect way! Instead of the wisdom of Godly women, we now have the wisdom of world. 1 Corinthians 3:19 "For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness."
Last, I believe that wives who refuse to submit to their husbands as God instructs us to do are in rebellion. Both to God and to the leader of their home. Anytime we deny God's way and seek our own, that is rebellion. Why do humans rebel? That is a good question. And also a hard one to answer. I believe it's mostly that we don't want anyone telling us what to do. Be it our husbands, our parents, our bosses, our pastor. Anyone in authority.
Now, what do you think would happen if the vice president of the United States decided he didn't like what the president was doing and he argued with him about everything? Getting mad and having a fit because he didn't get his way, and he just knows his way is better. He's itching to be in charge. While I believe the president should stop and listen to the vice-president, I know that the final authority lies with ONE man. If there really were two leaders on this country, both with equal powers, then it would not take long before things would get out of hand. There would be a split, with everything being torn apart because you've got two people trying to make decisions and be the leader. This is impossible. There cannot be two leaders. How many armies have you ever seen that have two captains running things?
You know, wives are like the vice-president of the home. The men are the presidents, but wives are like helpers or assistants who offer opinions, or suggestions and ideas, love, and support. It is good for the husband to listen to her, but ultimately it is up to the husband to make the final decision. This is the system that works! This is the system God has laid down for us.
Part Two
Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Wives are to submit to their husbands just as they submit to the Lord! And I firmly believe that any woman not submitting to her husband cannot be in total submission to Christ. For she is rebelling against the very word of God. But what is the husband's responsibility in all of this submission business?
Ephesians chapter 5: "25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26: That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27: That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28: So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29: For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32: This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church."
Would you not agree that the husband has the greater responsibility here? I think so. That is an awesome calling for men. To love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it! Think of what husbands do for us. They give most of their day working a job to feed, shelter, and clothe their wives and children. This is a great sacrifice I believe. Just as Christ nourishes and cherishes the Church, so men ought to nourish and cherish their wives. Women are merely called to be in submission, men are commanded to love, cherish, nourish, and give their lives for their mate. Which calling would you rather have?
Look at Ephesians 5:32: "This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church." God intended that marriage be a reflection of Christ and his bride! What a wonderful thought that should be to us. Christ loved us so much that He gave his life for us. He nourishes and cherishes us. Because of this great love, we submit ourselves to him to be his servant. And God says that this is the way it should be between a man and a woman. Once again, looking at the wife, we see that just as she submits to Christ, she should also submit to her husband.
The husband's role reflects that of Christ. The wives role, that of the Church. Isn't that a beautiful comparison?
A wife is her husband's helpmeet (servant) and is to bear his children (fruit). Isn't this the same role as the Church? To be a servant for Christ and win souls (bear fruit) for Him?
A man seeks a woman to be his wife; woo's her; sacrifices his life to meet her needs; loves, cherishes, and nourishes her. Just as Christ gave His life for us; seeks us out; draws us to Him; loves, cherishes, nourishes us.
Our temporal, earthly marriage is a reflection of the eternal, Heavenly marriage of Christ and His Bride. What does you marriage reflect?
Part Three
Nowhere in the word of God do we ever find that the men are to submit to the women. In fact, the women are instructed to not only submit but, just as the men are to love their wives, younger women are to be taught by the aged women how to love their husbands, children, and home (See Titus 2). Now let me add one thing before we move on to my next point. Ephesians 5:21 "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." Man and wife are one, but at the same time she is in subjection to her husband, we see that we are to submit to one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. Does God contradict Himself? No. The next verse tells us that women are first in subjection to their own husbands. But there is nothing wrong with serving our brothers in Christ. It's just that our husbands come first. Now, if the husband if doing filling his role as husband according to the word of God, and if the wife is filling her role according to the word of God, then they are in one accord according to God's will for marriage. It's when wives try to get around their role that that unity is broken.
Part Four
What women fail to understand about submission is that it truly is for our own good. I can just hear the gasps now from the women's libbers. Well, let them gasp! There is a reason for women being in submission to their husbands. And, while it is a sad story, it is also a very simple explanation.
I Peter 3:7: "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." Women are weaker vessels. Is that bad? Well, if God made us that way, then no it isn't. Look at Eve. She was the one who was deceived. And that is the main reason we need someone to look over us per se. Women are tenderhearted, loving, trusting creatures. Because of this, we can easily be lead astray. Men are stronger in the areas where we are weaker (without strength). The serpent did not seek to deceive Adam. He knew who the weaker creature was.
Is submission punishment for what Eve did? Genesis 3:16 "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." No, I believe it is more a means of protection. We should thank God for taking care of us in such a way.
Ladies, let me challenge you to take a look at your marriage. Are you doing your part?
The End
Submission Passages
Submission Passages
Instructions for Married, Widowed, Single, Separated Women
For many women the women's submission passages are difficult to accept. I must admit that I have trouble with the "submission passages." There were times when I skipped over these scriptures thinking that if I didn't read them, they would not exist. Now is the time to face the passages squarely and try to understand what Peter and Paul were trying to tell us. Were they prejudiced against women?
Jesus spoke with and taught women. He forgave women. He appreciated the kindness women had to offer him. Jesus had friends who were women. Why do Peter and Paul then seem to want to take the sharing of our experiences away from us in church?
The passages in red seem to be different in nature. When Paul wrote the scripture about single widowed women, he says it is from the Lord. When he wrote the scripture about the head covering, he said all the churches agreed on this.
The scripture below tells us everyone is equal in Christ Jesus. Are the submission passages Paul's opinion then and not from the Lord? Was the purpose of the submission passages to establish an order within the church function only?
"For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:26-28
*
Wives Duties
"Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives. When they observe you chaste conduct accompanied by fear. (New King James)
Wives, fit in with your husband's plans; for then if they refuse to listen when you talk to them about the Lord, they will be won by your respectful, pure behavior. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. (Living Bible same verse different translation)
Women should listen and learn quietly and humbly. I never let women teach men or lord it over them. Let them be silent in your church meeting. Why? Because God made Adam first, and afterwards he made Eve. And it was not Adam who was fooled by Satan, but Eve, and sin was the result. So God sent pain and suffering to women when their children are born, but he will save their souls if they trust in him, living, quiet, good and loving lives.
Deacons wives must be thoughtful, not heavy drinkers, not gossipers, but faithful in everything they do. (Timothy 3:11)
But there is one matter I want to remind you about: that a wife is responsible to her husband, her husband is responsible to Christ, and Christ is responsible to God. That is why if a man refuses to remove his hat while praying or preaching he dishonors Christ. And that is why a woman who publicly prays or prophesies without a covering on her head dishonors her husband (for her covering is a sign of her subjection to him). 1Cor 11:3-5
But if anyone wants to argue about this, all I can say is that we never teach anything else than this--that a woman should wear a covering when prophesying or praying publicly in the church, and all the churches feel the same way about it.
Honor Christ by submitting to each other. You wives must submit to your husband' leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord. For a husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its Savior!) Eph 21-25
*
Husbands and Wives
But remember that in God's plan man and women. For although the first woman came out of man, all men have been from women ever since, and both men and women come from God their Creator.
*
Husbands Duties
You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them as the weaker sex. Remember that you and your wife are partners in receiving God's blessings, and if you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not get ready answers. 1Peter 3:7
Treat older women as mothers and the girls as your sister, thinking only pure thoughts them. 1Tim 5:2
And you husbands, show the same kind of love to your wives as Christ showed to the church when he died for her, to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's Word: So that he could give her to himself as a glorious church without a single spot or wrinkle or any other blemish, being holy and without a single fault. That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as parts of themselves. For since a man and his wife are not one, a man is really doing himself a favor loving himself when he loves his wife! Ephesians 6:25-28
*
Unequally Yoked
Here I want to add some suggestion of my own. These are not direct commands from the Lord, but they seem right to me:
And if a Christian woman has a husband who isn't a Christian, and he wants her to stay with him, she must not leave him. For perhaps the husband who isn't a Christian may become a Christian with the help of his Christian wife.
But if the husband or wife who isn't a Christian is eager to leave, it is permitted. In such cases the Christian husband or wife should not insist that the other stay, for God wants his children to live in peace and harmony. For, after all, there is no assurance to you wives that you husbands will be converted if they stay; and the same may be said to you husbands concerning your wives.
*
Single Women
It is the same with a girl who marries. She faces the same problem. A girl who is not married is anxious to please the Lord in all she is and does. But a married woman must consider other things such as housekeeping and the likes and dislikes of her husband.
I am saying this to help you, not to try to keep you from marrying. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few other things as possible to distract your attention from him.
The wife is part of her husband as long as he lives; if her husband dies, then she may marry again, but only if she marries a Christian. But in my opinion she will be happier if she doesn't marry again; and I think I am giving you counsel from God's Spirit when I say this. 1 Cor 34-35 & 39-40.
After reading these passages carefully, I still have more questions than answers. Seems to me all it is saying is that we need to be submissive to each other. In any relationship, there must be a leader; but I do not believe that Jesus would expect a woman who is emotionally or physically abused to stay in a relationship. If we love each other everything will work for the glory of Jesus.
Instructions for Married, Widowed, Single, Separated Women
For many women the women's submission passages are difficult to accept. I must admit that I have trouble with the "submission passages." There were times when I skipped over these scriptures thinking that if I didn't read them, they would not exist. Now is the time to face the passages squarely and try to understand what Peter and Paul were trying to tell us. Were they prejudiced against women?
Jesus spoke with and taught women. He forgave women. He appreciated the kindness women had to offer him. Jesus had friends who were women. Why do Peter and Paul then seem to want to take the sharing of our experiences away from us in church?
The passages in red seem to be different in nature. When Paul wrote the scripture about single widowed women, he says it is from the Lord. When he wrote the scripture about the head covering, he said all the churches agreed on this.
The scripture below tells us everyone is equal in Christ Jesus. Are the submission passages Paul's opinion then and not from the Lord? Was the purpose of the submission passages to establish an order within the church function only?
"For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:26-28
*
Wives Duties
"Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives. When they observe you chaste conduct accompanied by fear. (New King James)
Wives, fit in with your husband's plans; for then if they refuse to listen when you talk to them about the Lord, they will be won by your respectful, pure behavior. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. (Living Bible same verse different translation)
Women should listen and learn quietly and humbly. I never let women teach men or lord it over them. Let them be silent in your church meeting. Why? Because God made Adam first, and afterwards he made Eve. And it was not Adam who was fooled by Satan, but Eve, and sin was the result. So God sent pain and suffering to women when their children are born, but he will save their souls if they trust in him, living, quiet, good and loving lives.
Deacons wives must be thoughtful, not heavy drinkers, not gossipers, but faithful in everything they do. (Timothy 3:11)
But there is one matter I want to remind you about: that a wife is responsible to her husband, her husband is responsible to Christ, and Christ is responsible to God. That is why if a man refuses to remove his hat while praying or preaching he dishonors Christ. And that is why a woman who publicly prays or prophesies without a covering on her head dishonors her husband (for her covering is a sign of her subjection to him). 1Cor 11:3-5
But if anyone wants to argue about this, all I can say is that we never teach anything else than this--that a woman should wear a covering when prophesying or praying publicly in the church, and all the churches feel the same way about it.
Honor Christ by submitting to each other. You wives must submit to your husband' leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord. For a husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its Savior!) Eph 21-25
*
Husbands and Wives
But remember that in God's plan man and women. For although the first woman came out of man, all men have been from women ever since, and both men and women come from God their Creator.
*
Husbands Duties
You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them as the weaker sex. Remember that you and your wife are partners in receiving God's blessings, and if you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not get ready answers. 1Peter 3:7
Treat older women as mothers and the girls as your sister, thinking only pure thoughts them. 1Tim 5:2
And you husbands, show the same kind of love to your wives as Christ showed to the church when he died for her, to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's Word: So that he could give her to himself as a glorious church without a single spot or wrinkle or any other blemish, being holy and without a single fault. That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as parts of themselves. For since a man and his wife are not one, a man is really doing himself a favor loving himself when he loves his wife! Ephesians 6:25-28
*
Unequally Yoked
Here I want to add some suggestion of my own. These are not direct commands from the Lord, but they seem right to me:
And if a Christian woman has a husband who isn't a Christian, and he wants her to stay with him, she must not leave him. For perhaps the husband who isn't a Christian may become a Christian with the help of his Christian wife.
But if the husband or wife who isn't a Christian is eager to leave, it is permitted. In such cases the Christian husband or wife should not insist that the other stay, for God wants his children to live in peace and harmony. For, after all, there is no assurance to you wives that you husbands will be converted if they stay; and the same may be said to you husbands concerning your wives.
*
Single Women
It is the same with a girl who marries. She faces the same problem. A girl who is not married is anxious to please the Lord in all she is and does. But a married woman must consider other things such as housekeeping and the likes and dislikes of her husband.
I am saying this to help you, not to try to keep you from marrying. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few other things as possible to distract your attention from him.
The wife is part of her husband as long as he lives; if her husband dies, then she may marry again, but only if she marries a Christian. But in my opinion she will be happier if she doesn't marry again; and I think I am giving you counsel from God's Spirit when I say this. 1 Cor 34-35 & 39-40.
After reading these passages carefully, I still have more questions than answers. Seems to me all it is saying is that we need to be submissive to each other. In any relationship, there must be a leader; but I do not believe that Jesus would expect a woman who is emotionally or physically abused to stay in a relationship. If we love each other everything will work for the glory of Jesus.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Submitted wife or Doormat you choose
What does the Bible mean when it says that wives are to submit to their husbands?
Some believe that being submissive means to simply obey and to deny personal feelings, desires, expectations, and dreams. They think a wife is not submissive if she shares her opinions with her husband.
Worse, countless women have been sent back to their homes and told to submit to abusive husbands -- in some cases without anyone ever speaking to him about how he treats her. Some even believe that wives who are abused cause the abuse by their lack of submission.
This false concept of submission is often used to manipulate and control women. It advocates quiet obedience and subservience, and denies a woman's irreplaceable value in her marital relationship. It also ignores the potential for a man to be heavy-handed and unloving in his attempt to be the "ruler" of his home.
Unfortunately, some Christian leaders have contributed to this false concept of submission by overlooking the husband's obligation to love his wife. This is an extreme misrepresentation of Paul's intent in Ephesians 5:22-30 .
Others have accused the apostle Paul of being a male chauvinist, one who didn't respect women or see their value. If we consider what Paul wrote within his culture, however, we see that Paul had a high view of men and women. He understood how they can best work together in marriage to reflect Christ's love for us.
In a day when men married for money, Paul strongly stated that husbands were obligated to love their wives (see also Colossians 3:19 ). Paul's words to husbands were revolutionary in Greco-Roman society. Most men married not for love but for financial gain. Marriages were usually arranged, and the father of the bride provided a dowry -- a portion of money, clothes, jewelry, and possibly slaves.
Paul's instructions for marriage were a breath of fresh air. His thoughts were not those of a man who degraded women and wanted to "keep them in their place." Quite the opposite -- he elevated women to a place where they are to be loved as Christ loves the church. That is pretty radical thinking!
It is significant that Paul compared a husband and a wife to Christ and the church. He regarded marriage so highly that it is used as an analogy of Christ and His relationship to the church. If the husband is the head of the wife in the same way that Christ is the head of the church, we can safely draw conclusions from the comparison of Christ's relationship to His bride, the church.
Christ loves His bride and is her Savior. Christ gave His life for her. Likewise, the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves His church. A husband's love should be sacrificial, nourishing, cherishing, and protective. A man should love his wife in the same way he loves his own body ( Ephesians 5:25,28 ).
The same level of devotion as required of the husband to love is required of the wife to submit ( Ephesians 5:22 ). Before looking at submission unique to a wife, though, we need to remember that Paul advocates mutual submission between believers ( Ephesians 5:21 ). No one is to demand or force another to yield; submission is voluntary. The Bible doesn't say that it's a husband's responsibility to see to it that his wife submits to him.
A wife's submission to her husband is in response to her love and devotion to the Lord first. She submits to the Lord out of a humble and grateful heart, not because she is a slave, but a servant. Likewise, biblical submission in marriage is servanthood, not enslavement. A godly wife is motivated to submit to her husband, not out of fear, self-interest, or self-protection, but out of love ( 1 Peter 3:6 ).
Scripture does not define submission as mindless obedience to a husband's every wish or demand. Nor is it avoiding an argument at all cost. Instead, submission is a deep commitment to a person. It is choosing to work with one's mate in a way that promotes oneness. A married couple becomes one flesh and must work as a team ( Genesis 1:26 ). Constant fighting and arguing works against a couple trying to become unified.
To illustrate, a team player must submit to the guidance of his coach. A good coach guides the team in strategy and utilizes the strengths of the players for the success of the team. A gifted player may debate a point with his coach, but there comes a point when, if they continue to disagree, the player must submit to his coach. Likewise, the wife, at times, must put aside her disagreements and follow the lead of her husband, whom God has placed in her life as the head. (Sometimes, it is not in the best interest of either the wife or the husband to submit, as in the case of abuse.)
Marriage, according to God's design, is a relationship that returns love for love, service for service. Husbands and wives love and sacrifice for one another differently. Husbands love their wives by protecting, cherishing, and serving them. Wives submit to their husbands out of respect and love. Both the husband and the wife are given vast opportunities to show Christ's love to one another. It is not always easy, but marriages can best reflect God's redemptive work in our lives by following the principles of Christlike love and submission.
Some believe that being submissive means to simply obey and to deny personal feelings, desires, expectations, and dreams. They think a wife is not submissive if she shares her opinions with her husband.
Worse, countless women have been sent back to their homes and told to submit to abusive husbands -- in some cases without anyone ever speaking to him about how he treats her. Some even believe that wives who are abused cause the abuse by their lack of submission.
This false concept of submission is often used to manipulate and control women. It advocates quiet obedience and subservience, and denies a woman's irreplaceable value in her marital relationship. It also ignores the potential for a man to be heavy-handed and unloving in his attempt to be the "ruler" of his home.
Unfortunately, some Christian leaders have contributed to this false concept of submission by overlooking the husband's obligation to love his wife. This is an extreme misrepresentation of Paul's intent in Ephesians 5:22-30 .
Others have accused the apostle Paul of being a male chauvinist, one who didn't respect women or see their value. If we consider what Paul wrote within his culture, however, we see that Paul had a high view of men and women. He understood how they can best work together in marriage to reflect Christ's love for us.
In a day when men married for money, Paul strongly stated that husbands were obligated to love their wives (see also Colossians 3:19 ). Paul's words to husbands were revolutionary in Greco-Roman society. Most men married not for love but for financial gain. Marriages were usually arranged, and the father of the bride provided a dowry -- a portion of money, clothes, jewelry, and possibly slaves.
Paul's instructions for marriage were a breath of fresh air. His thoughts were not those of a man who degraded women and wanted to "keep them in their place." Quite the opposite -- he elevated women to a place where they are to be loved as Christ loves the church. That is pretty radical thinking!
It is significant that Paul compared a husband and a wife to Christ and the church. He regarded marriage so highly that it is used as an analogy of Christ and His relationship to the church. If the husband is the head of the wife in the same way that Christ is the head of the church, we can safely draw conclusions from the comparison of Christ's relationship to His bride, the church.
Christ loves His bride and is her Savior. Christ gave His life for her. Likewise, the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves His church. A husband's love should be sacrificial, nourishing, cherishing, and protective. A man should love his wife in the same way he loves his own body ( Ephesians 5:25,28 ).
The same level of devotion as required of the husband to love is required of the wife to submit ( Ephesians 5:22 ). Before looking at submission unique to a wife, though, we need to remember that Paul advocates mutual submission between believers ( Ephesians 5:21 ). No one is to demand or force another to yield; submission is voluntary. The Bible doesn't say that it's a husband's responsibility to see to it that his wife submits to him.
A wife's submission to her husband is in response to her love and devotion to the Lord first. She submits to the Lord out of a humble and grateful heart, not because she is a slave, but a servant. Likewise, biblical submission in marriage is servanthood, not enslavement. A godly wife is motivated to submit to her husband, not out of fear, self-interest, or self-protection, but out of love ( 1 Peter 3:6 ).
Scripture does not define submission as mindless obedience to a husband's every wish or demand. Nor is it avoiding an argument at all cost. Instead, submission is a deep commitment to a person. It is choosing to work with one's mate in a way that promotes oneness. A married couple becomes one flesh and must work as a team ( Genesis 1:26 ). Constant fighting and arguing works against a couple trying to become unified.
To illustrate, a team player must submit to the guidance of his coach. A good coach guides the team in strategy and utilizes the strengths of the players for the success of the team. A gifted player may debate a point with his coach, but there comes a point when, if they continue to disagree, the player must submit to his coach. Likewise, the wife, at times, must put aside her disagreements and follow the lead of her husband, whom God has placed in her life as the head. (Sometimes, it is not in the best interest of either the wife or the husband to submit, as in the case of abuse.)
Marriage, according to God's design, is a relationship that returns love for love, service for service. Husbands and wives love and sacrifice for one another differently. Husbands love their wives by protecting, cherishing, and serving them. Wives submit to their husbands out of respect and love. Both the husband and the wife are given vast opportunities to show Christ's love to one another. It is not always easy, but marriages can best reflect God's redemptive work in our lives by following the principles of Christlike love and submission.
Submission and the Modern Wife
Seminar Notes
1.Why Does the Issue Matter? Setting the Stage in Culture and the Church?
2.The Danvers Statement of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
3.Nine Evidences in Genesis 1-5 that Man's Leadership Is an Order of Creation Not a Result of the Fall
4.The Restoration of Loving Complementarity in Ephesians 5:21-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7
5.Answers to Objections to Submission
6.What Does "Saved Through Childbearing" Mean?
7.Six Thoughts on Men and Women in Ministry According to the Bible
8.Five Reasons Why I Stand by this Distinction in Role Between Men and Women
1. Why Does the Issue Matter?
Setting the Stage in Culture and the Church
The Secular Feminist Impulse
Here's a quote from social historian Jerry Z. Muller (of Catholic University of America) to give you a handle for understanding the way the words "gender" and "sex" are being used in academic women's studies around the country:
The influence of lesbianism is perhaps the prime reason for . . . an increasing focus on “gender,” defined as the social and cultural construction of sexual identity. The key assumption behind such work is that while men and women are biologically differentiated . . . the characteristic qualities of maleness and femaleness are largely artifacts of culture, and arbitrarily imposed cultural constructions at that. The emphasis on the relative importance of "gender" as opposed to “sex,” then is intended to challenge the assumption that differences between men and women are either natural or immutable (“Coming Out Ahead: The Homosexual Moment in the Academy,” First Things, Aug./Sept., 1993, No. 35, p.19).
In other words, in contemporary feminist usage “gender” refers to what we are by social conditioning and “sex” refers to what we are by nature, and the shift in focus from sex to gender more and more assumes that maleness and femaleness, at the root level of personhood, are negligible realities.
Already in 1972 Charlotte Bunch argued like this:
Heterosexuality separates women from each other. It makes women define themselves through men; it forces women to compete against each other for men and the privilege which comes through men and their social standing... Lesbianism is the key to liberation and only women who cut their ties to male privilege can be trusted to remain serious in the struggle against male dominance (Quoted in Muller, “Coming Out Ahead,” p. 18).
The Tragedy of Feminist Agnosticism: Paul Jewett
The ground-breaking book among evangelicals in the last 20 years, was a book by Paul Jewett called Man as Male and Female (1975). In it he set the pattern to be followed for two decades. He said, on the one hand, “Sexuality permeates one's individual being to its very depth; it conditions every facet of one's life as a person.” But, on the other hand, he says that he shares the uncertainty of those who do not know “what it means to be a man in distinction to a woman.” He confesses that “all human activity reflects a qualitative distinction which is sexual in nature.” But then he says, “In my opinion, such an observation offers no clue to the ultimate meaning of that distinction. It may be that we shall never know what that distinction ultimately means” (Man as Male and Female, pp. 178, 187f.).
The Tragic Feminist Call to Be... Sex Blind
Gretchen Gabelein Hull writes, “Biblical feminists lovingly ask the Christian community to abandon artificial role playing and to be sex blind in assessing each individual's qualifications for ministry” (Equal to Serve, p. 128).
...and Gender Leveling
And Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen expresses her confidence that the Bible's “main thrust is toward the leveling, not the maintenance, of birth-based status differences” (Gender and Grace, p. 235).
The Damage
I think James Dobson is right when he said, “Feminist resistance to making manhood and womanhood significant in behavior and role determination is partner to some of the most painful social and spiritual issues of our day” (Focus on the Family, May, 1993, vol. 17, No. 5, p. 7).
2. The Danvers Statement of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
(December 3, 1987, Danvers, Massachusetts)
Rationale
We have been moved in our purpose by the following contemporary developments which we observe with deep concern:
1. The widespread uncertainty and confusion in our culture regarding the complementary differences between masculinity and femininity;
2. the tragic effects of this confusion in unraveling the fabric of marriage woven by God out of the beautiful and diverse strands of manhood and womanhood;
3. the increasing promotion given to feminist egalitarianism with accompanying distortions or neglect of the glad harmony portrayed in Scripture between the loving, humble leadership of redeemed husbands and the intelligent, willing support of that leadership by redeemed wives;
4. the widespread ambivalence regarding the values of motherhood, vocational homemaking, and the many ministries historically performed by women;
5. the growing claims of legitimacy for sexual relationships which have Biblically and historically been considered illicit or perverse, and the increase in pornographic portrayal of human sexuality;
6. the upsurge of physical and emotional abuse in the family;
7. the emergence of roles for men and women in church leadership that do not conform to Biblical teaching but backfire in the crippling of Biblically faithful witness;
8. the increasing prevalence and acceptance of hermeneutical oddities devised to reinterpret apparently plain meanings of Biblical texts;
9. the consequent threat to Biblical authority as the clarity of Scripture is jeopardized and the accessibility of its meaning to ordinary people is withdrawn into the restricted realm of technical ingenuity;
10. and behind all this the apparent accommodation of some within the church to the spirit of the age at the expense of winsome, radical Biblical authenticity which in the power of the Holy Spirit may reform rather than reflect our ailing culture.
Affirmations
Based on our understanding of Biblical teachings, we affirm the following:
1. Both Adam and Eve were created in God's image, equal before God as persons and distinct in their manhood and womanhood.
2. Distinctions in masculine and feminine roles are ordained by God as part of the created order and find an echo in every human heart.
3. Adam's headship in marriage was established by God before the Fall and was not a result of sin.
4. The Fall introduced distortions into the relationships between men and women.
In the home, the husband's loving, humble headship tends to be replaced by domination or passivity; the wife's intelligent, willing submission tends to be replaced by usurpation or servility.
In the church, sin inclines men toward a worldly love of power or an abdication of spiritual responsibility, and sin inclines women to resist limitations on their roles or neglect the use of their gifts in appropriate ministries.
5. The Old Testament, as well as the New Testament, manifests the equally high value and dignity which God attached to the roles of both men and women. Both Old and New Testaments also affirm the principle of male headship in the family and in the covenant community.
6. Redemption in Christ aims at removing the distortions introduced by the curse.
In the family, husbands should forsake harsh or selfish leadership and grow in love and care for their wives; wives should forsake resistance to their husbands' authority and grow in willing, joyful submission to their husbands' leadership.
In the church, redemption in Christ gives men and women an equal share in the blessings of salvation; nevertheless, some governing and teaching roles within the church are restricted to men.
7. In all of life Christ is the supreme authority and guide for men and women, so that no earthly submission - domestic, religious, or civil - ever implies a mandate to follow a human authority into sin.
8. In both men and women a heartfelt sense of call to ministry should never be used to set aside Biblical criteria for particular ministries. Rather, Biblical teaching should remain the authority for testing our subjective discernment of God's will.
9. With half the world's population outside the reach of indigenous evangelism; with countless lost people in societies that have heard the gospel; with the stresses and miseries of sickness, malnutrition, homelessness, illiteracy, ignorance, aging, addiction, crime, incarceration, neuroses, and loneliness, no man or woman who feels a passion from God to make His grace known in word and deed need ever live without a fulfilling ministry for the glory of Christ and the good of this fallen world.
10. We are convinced that a denial or neglect of these principles will lead to increasingly destructive consequences in our families, churches, and the culture at large.
3. Nine Evidences in Genesis 1-5 that Man’s Leadership Is an Order of Creation Not a Result of the Fall
1. The creation of man and woman equally in God’s image but with a representative leadership function implied for the man
Genesis 1:26-27
Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
2. Man is created first, then the woman
Genesis 2:7, 18
Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being . . . Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
3. Man is given the moral teaching for governing the garden to pass on to the woman
Genesis 2:15-17
Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die."
4. Woman was created “from man” and presented as a helper “fit for him”
Genesis 2:18-23
Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."
5. Man names woman
Genesis 2:23
The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."
6. The serpent undermines the roles ordained by God and draws Eve and Adam into a deadly role reversal with God and each other
Genesis 3:1-6
Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die."' The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.
Genesis 3:17
Then to Adam He said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, 'You shall not eat from it'; Cursed is the ground because of you; in toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.”
7. God calls the man to account first, not the woman
Genesis 3:7-9
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?"
8. The Curse of “Desire” and “Rule” show the futility of role corruption
Genesis 3:16
To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."
Genesis 3:16b
And for your husband will be your desire, and he shall rule over you.
Genesis 4:7b
And for you will be its desire, and you shall rule over it.
9. God named man and woman “man”
Genesis 5:1-3
This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day when God created man, He made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female, and He blessed them and named them Man in the day when they were created. When Adam had lived one hundred and thirty years, he became the father of a sonin his own likeness, according to his image, and named him Seth.
4. The Restoration of Loving Complementarity in Ephesians 5:21-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7
A Definition of Headship
The divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, loving, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home.
Primary Responsibility
Both words are crucial: primary, not sole; and responsibility, not rights. Burden-bearer, not boss.
Leadership
Implied in the concept of the husband as “head” of the body. (Contrast with the notion of “head” as source.)
Implied in the corollary that the wife is to “submit.”
It follows also from the fact that Christ was the leader of his disciples and is the leader of the church who submits to him as a leader.
Note: servanthood does not nullify leadership; it defines the method of leadership.
And He said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who have authority over them are called 'Benefactors.' But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant. For who is greater, the one who reclines at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at the table? But I am among you as the one who serves.” (Luke 22:25-27)
Protection
Implied in the death of Christ for the church to save her from the destroying effects of sin. His death for her was not merely a demonstration of sacrificial love; it was a love because it protected and saved (Ephesians 5:23, “Savior of the body”; 5:25).
Provision
Implied in the nourishing and cherishing that Christ does for the church, his own body, is an analogy of what the husband is to do for his own body, his wife (Ephesians 5:29).
A Definition of Submission
First what submission does not mean
1. Submission does not mean agreeing with everything your husband says.
1 Peter 3:1
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of themare disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.
2. Submission does not mean leaving your brain or your will at the wedding altar.
1 Peter 3:1
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of themare disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.
3. Submission does not mean avoiding effort to change your husband.
1 Peter 3:1
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of themare disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.
4. Submission does not mean putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ.
1 Peter 3:1
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of themare disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.
1 Peter 3:5-6
For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
Genesis 18:12
Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?”
5. Submission does not mean that the wife gets her spiritual strength mainly from her husband.
1 Peter 3:1,6
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of themis disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. . . Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
6. Submission does not mean acting out of slavish fear toward the husband.
1 Peter 3:6
Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
Concluding Definition of Submission
Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. Submission is an inclination of the will to say yes to the husband's leadership and a disposition of the spirit to support his initiatives.
5. Answers to Objections to Submission
What if the wife is more competent?
Would you still think a man should assume the responsibility of leader if he is less competent than his wife?
Answer: Yes. Competence in skills is not the issue. The differences between essential manhood and womanhood are the issue. That a woman may be better at a skill than a man does not alter whether he can and should assume primary responsibility for leadership, protection, and provision in the home.
Leadership is essentially assuming the burden of a pattern of initiative. The initiative itself may call for the wife to exercise her competencies in places and ways that the man may be deficient. Example: Reading during devotions that he initiates. Doing the math in the checkbook balancing, which he cares about and is diligent to oversee, lest the family come into financial difficulties.
What about mutual submission?
The most common objection to the picture I just painted of loving leadership and willing submission is that verse 21 teaches us to be mutually submissive to each other. "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ."
So one writer says, "By definition, mutual submission rules out hierarchical differences" (Gilbert Bilezikian, Beyond Sex Roles, p. 154). In other words, if mutual submission is a reality between husband and wife, then it's a contradiction to say the husband has a special responsibility to lead and the wife a special responsibility to support that leadership and help carry it through.
Answer: It is simply not true. In fact, the writer who said that mutual submission rules out all hierarchical relationships shows that it’s not true a page later when he says, "The church thrives on mutual subjection. In a Spirit-led church, the elders submit to the congregation in being accountable for their watch-care, and the congregation submits to the elders in accepting their guidance” (p. 155). On page 251 he even says that "the congregations submit to their leaders by obeying . . ." In other words, when it comes to the church, he has no trouble seeing how mutual submission is possible between two groups, one of whom has the responsibility to guide and the other of whom has the responsibility to accept guidance.
And that's right. There is no contradiction between mutual submission and a relationship of leadership and response. Mutual submission doesn't mean that both partners must submit in exactly the same ways. Christ submitted himself to the church in one way by a kind of servant-leadership that cost him his life. And the church submits herself to Christ in another way by honoring his leadership and following him in on the Calvary road.
So it is not true that mutual submission rules out the family pattern of Christ-like leadership and church-like submission. Mutual submission doesn't obliterate those roles, it transforms them.
Does “head” really mean leader? What about “source”?
One other common objection to the pattern of leadership and submission is that the term "head" does not carry the meaning of leadership at all. Instead it means "source," somewhat like we use the word "fountainhead" or the "head of a river" (Bilizikian, pp. 157-162). So to call a husband the head of his wife wouldn't mean that he is to be a leader, but that he is in some sense her "source" or her "fountainhead."
Answer: There are long studies to show that this is not a normal meaning for the word head in Paul's day. But you'll never read these articles because they are too technical. So let me try to show you something from these verses that everyone can see.
The husband is pictured as the head of his wife as Christ is pictured as the head of the church, his body (see vv. 29-30). Now if the head means "source" what is the husband the source of? What does the body get from the head? It gets nourishment (that's mentioned in verse 29). And we can understand that because the mouth is in the head, and nourishment comes through the mouth to the body. But that's not all the body gets from the head. It gets guidance because the eyes are in the head. And it gets alertness and protection because the ears are in the head.
In other words, if the husband as head is one flesh with his wife, his body, and if he is therefore her source of guidance and food and alertness, then the natural conclusion is that the head, the husband, has a primary responsibility for leadership and provision and protection.
So even if you give "head" the meaning "source," the most natural interpretation of these verses is that husbands are called by God to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, servant leadership and protection and provision in the home. And wives are called to honor and affirm the husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.
6. What Does “Saved through Childbearing” Mean?
1 Timothy 3:15
But women will be saved through childbearing, if they continue in faith and love and holiness with discretion.
1 Timothy 2:15
Yet she will be saved through...
1 Corinthians 3:15
...though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.
The curse of Genesis 3
Genesis 3:16
To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children.”
Faith
Romans 5:1
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Love
1 Corinthians 16:22
If anyone does not love the Lord, he is to be accursed.
Holiness
2 Thessalonians 2:13
But we should always give thanks to God for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation through holiness by the Spirit and faith in the truth.
Romans 6:22
But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in holiness, and the outcome, eternal life.
Discretion
1 Timothy 2:1-2, 8-15
First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet (h`su,cion) life in all godliness and dignity . . . Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension. Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet (h`suci,a
). For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. But women will be saved through childbearing if they continue in faith and love and holiness with discretion.
7. Six Thoughts on Men and Women in Ministry According to the Bible
1. All Christians, men and women, are ministers (Ephesians 4:12). No one is off duty. All of life should have a radical orientation around the work of the kingdom.
2. Ministry is the stewarding of grace through gifts for the demonstration of love and the upbuilding of faith and the ingathering of God's elect. 1 Peter 4:10 is a crucial text for me in this regard: "As each has received a gift, use it as stewards of the manifold grace of God." (Cf. also 1 Corinthians 12, which stresses that all is to be done for the edification of the church.)
3. All spiritual gifts (not offices or roles) are given to women and are to be used for the good of the church, the reaching of the lost, and the glory of God.
4. The office of elder/overseer/pastor is the responsibility of spiritual men who aim to equip the saints for ministry through teaching and oversight. 1 Timothy 2:12 says that this teaching and authority is the unique responsibility of men and not women.
5. The difference between elder and deacon is the role of teaching and governing (1 Timothy 3:2; 5:17; Titus 1:9) so that the easiest way to apply 1 Timothy 2:12 is to say that the elders of a local church should be men.
6. But the real action - the real ministry - in a healthy church is what is happening by the power of the Spirit through the gifts of the Spirit in the small groups and the informal times of ministry to one another with words of knowledge and wisdom and gifts of faith and healings and miracles and prophecy and discernment and mercy and teaching and exhortation and prayer, etc.
8. Five Reasons Why I Stand by this Distinction in Role Between Men and Women in Ministry
1. Because the sense seems plain to me and not terribly complicated in 1 Timothy 2:12-13.
2. Because this fits with the overall picture of complementarity in Genesis, Jesus' ministry, and Paul's and Peter's teaching on marriage.
3. I have never seen any other texts that contradict this meaning. What the other texts do (like Galatians 3:28 and Acts 2) is refine our applications and protect us from abuses.
4. The aim of the New Testament is to redeem sin-distorted relationships between men and women. But it redeems them by removing the distortions of headship and submission, not by leveling all distinction in role.
5. Since I see this distinction in the Bible, I believe it is good for women and men, and for our society as a whole, and for the glory of God.
1.Why Does the Issue Matter? Setting the Stage in Culture and the Church?
2.The Danvers Statement of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
3.Nine Evidences in Genesis 1-5 that Man's Leadership Is an Order of Creation Not a Result of the Fall
4.The Restoration of Loving Complementarity in Ephesians 5:21-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7
5.Answers to Objections to Submission
6.What Does "Saved Through Childbearing" Mean?
7.Six Thoughts on Men and Women in Ministry According to the Bible
8.Five Reasons Why I Stand by this Distinction in Role Between Men and Women
1. Why Does the Issue Matter?
Setting the Stage in Culture and the Church
The Secular Feminist Impulse
Here's a quote from social historian Jerry Z. Muller (of Catholic University of America) to give you a handle for understanding the way the words "gender" and "sex" are being used in academic women's studies around the country:
The influence of lesbianism is perhaps the prime reason for . . . an increasing focus on “gender,” defined as the social and cultural construction of sexual identity. The key assumption behind such work is that while men and women are biologically differentiated . . . the characteristic qualities of maleness and femaleness are largely artifacts of culture, and arbitrarily imposed cultural constructions at that. The emphasis on the relative importance of "gender" as opposed to “sex,” then is intended to challenge the assumption that differences between men and women are either natural or immutable (“Coming Out Ahead: The Homosexual Moment in the Academy,” First Things, Aug./Sept., 1993, No. 35, p.19).
In other words, in contemporary feminist usage “gender” refers to what we are by social conditioning and “sex” refers to what we are by nature, and the shift in focus from sex to gender more and more assumes that maleness and femaleness, at the root level of personhood, are negligible realities.
Already in 1972 Charlotte Bunch argued like this:
Heterosexuality separates women from each other. It makes women define themselves through men; it forces women to compete against each other for men and the privilege which comes through men and their social standing... Lesbianism is the key to liberation and only women who cut their ties to male privilege can be trusted to remain serious in the struggle against male dominance (Quoted in Muller, “Coming Out Ahead,” p. 18).
The Tragedy of Feminist Agnosticism: Paul Jewett
The ground-breaking book among evangelicals in the last 20 years, was a book by Paul Jewett called Man as Male and Female (1975). In it he set the pattern to be followed for two decades. He said, on the one hand, “Sexuality permeates one's individual being to its very depth; it conditions every facet of one's life as a person.” But, on the other hand, he says that he shares the uncertainty of those who do not know “what it means to be a man in distinction to a woman.” He confesses that “all human activity reflects a qualitative distinction which is sexual in nature.” But then he says, “In my opinion, such an observation offers no clue to the ultimate meaning of that distinction. It may be that we shall never know what that distinction ultimately means” (Man as Male and Female, pp. 178, 187f.).
The Tragic Feminist Call to Be... Sex Blind
Gretchen Gabelein Hull writes, “Biblical feminists lovingly ask the Christian community to abandon artificial role playing and to be sex blind in assessing each individual's qualifications for ministry” (Equal to Serve, p. 128).
...and Gender Leveling
And Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen expresses her confidence that the Bible's “main thrust is toward the leveling, not the maintenance, of birth-based status differences” (Gender and Grace, p. 235).
The Damage
I think James Dobson is right when he said, “Feminist resistance to making manhood and womanhood significant in behavior and role determination is partner to some of the most painful social and spiritual issues of our day” (Focus on the Family, May, 1993, vol. 17, No. 5, p. 7).
2. The Danvers Statement of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
(December 3, 1987, Danvers, Massachusetts)
Rationale
We have been moved in our purpose by the following contemporary developments which we observe with deep concern:
1. The widespread uncertainty and confusion in our culture regarding the complementary differences between masculinity and femininity;
2. the tragic effects of this confusion in unraveling the fabric of marriage woven by God out of the beautiful and diverse strands of manhood and womanhood;
3. the increasing promotion given to feminist egalitarianism with accompanying distortions or neglect of the glad harmony portrayed in Scripture between the loving, humble leadership of redeemed husbands and the intelligent, willing support of that leadership by redeemed wives;
4. the widespread ambivalence regarding the values of motherhood, vocational homemaking, and the many ministries historically performed by women;
5. the growing claims of legitimacy for sexual relationships which have Biblically and historically been considered illicit or perverse, and the increase in pornographic portrayal of human sexuality;
6. the upsurge of physical and emotional abuse in the family;
7. the emergence of roles for men and women in church leadership that do not conform to Biblical teaching but backfire in the crippling of Biblically faithful witness;
8. the increasing prevalence and acceptance of hermeneutical oddities devised to reinterpret apparently plain meanings of Biblical texts;
9. the consequent threat to Biblical authority as the clarity of Scripture is jeopardized and the accessibility of its meaning to ordinary people is withdrawn into the restricted realm of technical ingenuity;
10. and behind all this the apparent accommodation of some within the church to the spirit of the age at the expense of winsome, radical Biblical authenticity which in the power of the Holy Spirit may reform rather than reflect our ailing culture.
Affirmations
Based on our understanding of Biblical teachings, we affirm the following:
1. Both Adam and Eve were created in God's image, equal before God as persons and distinct in their manhood and womanhood.
2. Distinctions in masculine and feminine roles are ordained by God as part of the created order and find an echo in every human heart.
3. Adam's headship in marriage was established by God before the Fall and was not a result of sin.
4. The Fall introduced distortions into the relationships between men and women.
In the home, the husband's loving, humble headship tends to be replaced by domination or passivity; the wife's intelligent, willing submission tends to be replaced by usurpation or servility.
In the church, sin inclines men toward a worldly love of power or an abdication of spiritual responsibility, and sin inclines women to resist limitations on their roles or neglect the use of their gifts in appropriate ministries.
5. The Old Testament, as well as the New Testament, manifests the equally high value and dignity which God attached to the roles of both men and women. Both Old and New Testaments also affirm the principle of male headship in the family and in the covenant community.
6. Redemption in Christ aims at removing the distortions introduced by the curse.
In the family, husbands should forsake harsh or selfish leadership and grow in love and care for their wives; wives should forsake resistance to their husbands' authority and grow in willing, joyful submission to their husbands' leadership.
In the church, redemption in Christ gives men and women an equal share in the blessings of salvation; nevertheless, some governing and teaching roles within the church are restricted to men.
7. In all of life Christ is the supreme authority and guide for men and women, so that no earthly submission - domestic, religious, or civil - ever implies a mandate to follow a human authority into sin.
8. In both men and women a heartfelt sense of call to ministry should never be used to set aside Biblical criteria for particular ministries. Rather, Biblical teaching should remain the authority for testing our subjective discernment of God's will.
9. With half the world's population outside the reach of indigenous evangelism; with countless lost people in societies that have heard the gospel; with the stresses and miseries of sickness, malnutrition, homelessness, illiteracy, ignorance, aging, addiction, crime, incarceration, neuroses, and loneliness, no man or woman who feels a passion from God to make His grace known in word and deed need ever live without a fulfilling ministry for the glory of Christ and the good of this fallen world.
10. We are convinced that a denial or neglect of these principles will lead to increasingly destructive consequences in our families, churches, and the culture at large.
3. Nine Evidences in Genesis 1-5 that Man’s Leadership Is an Order of Creation Not a Result of the Fall
1. The creation of man and woman equally in God’s image but with a representative leadership function implied for the man
Genesis 1:26-27
Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
2. Man is created first, then the woman
Genesis 2:7, 18
Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being . . . Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
3. Man is given the moral teaching for governing the garden to pass on to the woman
Genesis 2:15-17
Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die."
4. Woman was created “from man” and presented as a helper “fit for him”
Genesis 2:18-23
Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."
5. Man names woman
Genesis 2:23
The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."
6. The serpent undermines the roles ordained by God and draws Eve and Adam into a deadly role reversal with God and each other
Genesis 3:1-6
Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die."' The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.
Genesis 3:17
Then to Adam He said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, 'You shall not eat from it'; Cursed is the ground because of you; in toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.”
7. God calls the man to account first, not the woman
Genesis 3:7-9
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?"
8. The Curse of “Desire” and “Rule” show the futility of role corruption
Genesis 3:16
To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."
Genesis 3:16b
And for your husband will be your desire, and he shall rule over you.
Genesis 4:7b
And for you will be its desire, and you shall rule over it.
9. God named man and woman “man”
Genesis 5:1-3
This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day when God created man, He made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female, and He blessed them and named them Man in the day when they were created. When Adam had lived one hundred and thirty years, he became the father of a sonin his own likeness, according to his image, and named him Seth.
4. The Restoration of Loving Complementarity in Ephesians 5:21-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7
A Definition of Headship
The divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, loving, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home.
Primary Responsibility
Both words are crucial: primary, not sole; and responsibility, not rights. Burden-bearer, not boss.
Leadership
Implied in the concept of the husband as “head” of the body. (Contrast with the notion of “head” as source.)
Implied in the corollary that the wife is to “submit.”
It follows also from the fact that Christ was the leader of his disciples and is the leader of the church who submits to him as a leader.
Note: servanthood does not nullify leadership; it defines the method of leadership.
And He said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who have authority over them are called 'Benefactors.' But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant. For who is greater, the one who reclines at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at the table? But I am among you as the one who serves.” (Luke 22:25-27)
Protection
Implied in the death of Christ for the church to save her from the destroying effects of sin. His death for her was not merely a demonstration of sacrificial love; it was a love because it protected and saved (Ephesians 5:23, “Savior of the body”; 5:25).
Provision
Implied in the nourishing and cherishing that Christ does for the church, his own body, is an analogy of what the husband is to do for his own body, his wife (Ephesians 5:29).
A Definition of Submission
First what submission does not mean
1. Submission does not mean agreeing with everything your husband says.
1 Peter 3:1
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of themare disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.
2. Submission does not mean leaving your brain or your will at the wedding altar.
1 Peter 3:1
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of themare disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.
3. Submission does not mean avoiding effort to change your husband.
1 Peter 3:1
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of themare disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.
4. Submission does not mean putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ.
1 Peter 3:1
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of themare disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.
1 Peter 3:5-6
For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
Genesis 18:12
Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?”
5. Submission does not mean that the wife gets her spiritual strength mainly from her husband.
1 Peter 3:1,6
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of themis disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. . . Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
6. Submission does not mean acting out of slavish fear toward the husband.
1 Peter 3:6
Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
Concluding Definition of Submission
Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. Submission is an inclination of the will to say yes to the husband's leadership and a disposition of the spirit to support his initiatives.
5. Answers to Objections to Submission
What if the wife is more competent?
Would you still think a man should assume the responsibility of leader if he is less competent than his wife?
Answer: Yes. Competence in skills is not the issue. The differences between essential manhood and womanhood are the issue. That a woman may be better at a skill than a man does not alter whether he can and should assume primary responsibility for leadership, protection, and provision in the home.
Leadership is essentially assuming the burden of a pattern of initiative. The initiative itself may call for the wife to exercise her competencies in places and ways that the man may be deficient. Example: Reading during devotions that he initiates. Doing the math in the checkbook balancing, which he cares about and is diligent to oversee, lest the family come into financial difficulties.
What about mutual submission?
The most common objection to the picture I just painted of loving leadership and willing submission is that verse 21 teaches us to be mutually submissive to each other. "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ."
So one writer says, "By definition, mutual submission rules out hierarchical differences" (Gilbert Bilezikian, Beyond Sex Roles, p. 154). In other words, if mutual submission is a reality between husband and wife, then it's a contradiction to say the husband has a special responsibility to lead and the wife a special responsibility to support that leadership and help carry it through.
Answer: It is simply not true. In fact, the writer who said that mutual submission rules out all hierarchical relationships shows that it’s not true a page later when he says, "The church thrives on mutual subjection. In a Spirit-led church, the elders submit to the congregation in being accountable for their watch-care, and the congregation submits to the elders in accepting their guidance” (p. 155). On page 251 he even says that "the congregations submit to their leaders by obeying . . ." In other words, when it comes to the church, he has no trouble seeing how mutual submission is possible between two groups, one of whom has the responsibility to guide and the other of whom has the responsibility to accept guidance.
And that's right. There is no contradiction between mutual submission and a relationship of leadership and response. Mutual submission doesn't mean that both partners must submit in exactly the same ways. Christ submitted himself to the church in one way by a kind of servant-leadership that cost him his life. And the church submits herself to Christ in another way by honoring his leadership and following him in on the Calvary road.
So it is not true that mutual submission rules out the family pattern of Christ-like leadership and church-like submission. Mutual submission doesn't obliterate those roles, it transforms them.
Does “head” really mean leader? What about “source”?
One other common objection to the pattern of leadership and submission is that the term "head" does not carry the meaning of leadership at all. Instead it means "source," somewhat like we use the word "fountainhead" or the "head of a river" (Bilizikian, pp. 157-162). So to call a husband the head of his wife wouldn't mean that he is to be a leader, but that he is in some sense her "source" or her "fountainhead."
Answer: There are long studies to show that this is not a normal meaning for the word head in Paul's day. But you'll never read these articles because they are too technical. So let me try to show you something from these verses that everyone can see.
The husband is pictured as the head of his wife as Christ is pictured as the head of the church, his body (see vv. 29-30). Now if the head means "source" what is the husband the source of? What does the body get from the head? It gets nourishment (that's mentioned in verse 29). And we can understand that because the mouth is in the head, and nourishment comes through the mouth to the body. But that's not all the body gets from the head. It gets guidance because the eyes are in the head. And it gets alertness and protection because the ears are in the head.
In other words, if the husband as head is one flesh with his wife, his body, and if he is therefore her source of guidance and food and alertness, then the natural conclusion is that the head, the husband, has a primary responsibility for leadership and provision and protection.
So even if you give "head" the meaning "source," the most natural interpretation of these verses is that husbands are called by God to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, servant leadership and protection and provision in the home. And wives are called to honor and affirm the husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.
6. What Does “Saved through Childbearing” Mean?
1 Timothy 3:15
But women will be saved through childbearing, if they continue in faith and love and holiness with discretion.
1 Timothy 2:15
Yet she will be saved through...
1 Corinthians 3:15
...though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.
The curse of Genesis 3
Genesis 3:16
To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children.”
Faith
Romans 5:1
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Love
1 Corinthians 16:22
If anyone does not love the Lord, he is to be accursed.
Holiness
2 Thessalonians 2:13
But we should always give thanks to God for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation through holiness by the Spirit and faith in the truth.
Romans 6:22
But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in holiness, and the outcome, eternal life.
Discretion
1 Timothy 2:1-2, 8-15
First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet (h`su,cion) life in all godliness and dignity . . . Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension. Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet (h`suci,a
). For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. But women will be saved through childbearing if they continue in faith and love and holiness with discretion.
7. Six Thoughts on Men and Women in Ministry According to the Bible
1. All Christians, men and women, are ministers (Ephesians 4:12). No one is off duty. All of life should have a radical orientation around the work of the kingdom.
2. Ministry is the stewarding of grace through gifts for the demonstration of love and the upbuilding of faith and the ingathering of God's elect. 1 Peter 4:10 is a crucial text for me in this regard: "As each has received a gift, use it as stewards of the manifold grace of God." (Cf. also 1 Corinthians 12, which stresses that all is to be done for the edification of the church.)
3. All spiritual gifts (not offices or roles) are given to women and are to be used for the good of the church, the reaching of the lost, and the glory of God.
4. The office of elder/overseer/pastor is the responsibility of spiritual men who aim to equip the saints for ministry through teaching and oversight. 1 Timothy 2:12 says that this teaching and authority is the unique responsibility of men and not women.
5. The difference between elder and deacon is the role of teaching and governing (1 Timothy 3:2; 5:17; Titus 1:9) so that the easiest way to apply 1 Timothy 2:12 is to say that the elders of a local church should be men.
6. But the real action - the real ministry - in a healthy church is what is happening by the power of the Spirit through the gifts of the Spirit in the small groups and the informal times of ministry to one another with words of knowledge and wisdom and gifts of faith and healings and miracles and prophecy and discernment and mercy and teaching and exhortation and prayer, etc.
8. Five Reasons Why I Stand by this Distinction in Role Between Men and Women in Ministry
1. Because the sense seems plain to me and not terribly complicated in 1 Timothy 2:12-13.
2. Because this fits with the overall picture of complementarity in Genesis, Jesus' ministry, and Paul's and Peter's teaching on marriage.
3. I have never seen any other texts that contradict this meaning. What the other texts do (like Galatians 3:28 and Acts 2) is refine our applications and protect us from abuses.
4. The aim of the New Testament is to redeem sin-distorted relationships between men and women. But it redeems them by removing the distortions of headship and submission, not by leveling all distinction in role.
5. Since I see this distinction in the Bible, I believe it is good for women and men, and for our society as a whole, and for the glory of God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
